Today is a nice fun relaxing day. I only did little studying, more out and about, PS2 at Vincent's yada yada.

And my God it's the first time I had two dinners. First we hit yong taufu at Bagus. And then after a nice meal we walked down Changi Road for chicken rice. And I can't say it's modest helpings because it isn't. Lol couple of pigs we were. Oh then headed down to Park Mall to see the bean bags! But apparently Park Mall shops closed before 8. Sigh. A walk about Park Mall is good, that shopping centre is all about designer furniture and such a joy to look at. Then dropped by PS and Pacific City. I saw this awesome awesome speakers by JBL that is so small yet produce bad ass audio. Like fucking loud! I'm in love. Pricey though )): I reached home near ten exhausted as usual.


Tomorrow I'll be starting tuitions. Means no more free time, more intensive Math Math Math and of course dough comes rollin' in baby.
Sigh it feels good to teach again I suppose, you have that purpose in life.

BTW I GOT TICKETS TO DREAM THEATER SCREEEEEEAAAAAMMMMSSSS all I have to do right now is sit tight and wait till 17th January.

ofblack&white
10:04 PM

It wasn't my prom yesterday (hells bells if I were to go for another prom) but I was equally sucked into all the malarkey.

One thing, I can't believe that I cabbed to school for stats and in the end not going because I was late and the rain was relentless in pouring it's heart out and it's quite hard to cross the road. And besides, Kat offered to pay for Big Breakfast. For an extremely broke person like me that sounds like a bloody good deal. Hmm then Dewi joined us because of the rain too. She agreed to me and Kat going back to Jakarta with her to her home. Lol! And I barely knew her hahah.


Sat down at the recre room to do some work before heading off to Bugis to meet Adela for her makeup and hairdo. First to Reds for the hairstyling, and I really think the coiffure suits her even after all her paranoia -.- Got a lot of funny stares because she's just in polo and shorts with glittery hair. LOL. Omg we went for chinese desserts it's damn delicious. There's a super thick peanut butter toast, practically dripping off the plate with peanut butter. Very very nice. Then to Shu Uemura for her make up. And when she stepped out of the loo changed in her little cheongsam (and I REALLY mean little) she looks very very pretty very Oriental (in other words cheena lol). I still don't know how she could be really stunning yet insecure about her looks -.-


Cabbed her to Fullerton then back to grandma's. I feel like a fairy godmother. Anyway I love this particular cab driver. One of the first cab drivers who is soft-spoken and gentle and checked the back of the cab in case I left something. Had a good conversation with him. Haha. My ulcer hurts like nobody's business yesterday so all I could manage is soup. Sigh. I'm really forced to go hungry. It's a sign people. I had to lug home dinner and thick thick notes and Adela's things (which consist of her Aigner bag, Hilfiger polo and Nike shorts, there is such thing as being too rich I suppose) and mom's Coach bag and I felt very susceptible to robbery so grandma dispatched me home on a cab. Sigh. I must cut down on traveling expenses.

Dead tired please. Slept at 11, relatively early to what I'm used to. Anyway YAY I found someone to watch Enchanted with me. Supposed to follow Anna Za Janet and Huda today but they are only watching at one plus. I still have school. But Huda is nice enough to tell me she won't follow them today and accompany me next week ((:

EXAMS next week too, ends on Thursday. Math I'm not worried, Stats I'm NOT so worried, Econs should be ok, PBF IS SO FUCKING NOT OKAY. I HATE WRITING ESSAYS.

ofblack&white
10:04 AM

Today was a day full of surprises around the corner. In the train and Wei Chun happened to appear infront of me. With Adela Hudson for sushi buffet and Martin appeared from nowhere. At the sushi booth when Robyn siddled in. Down the escalator when Ish's face was staring at me. How odd, but very nice. Can't seem to escape the trio, you know. Just left Adela when Mun called and down the escalator at the train station when Ish was there. Just when I messaged her yesterday. Lol.


Amongst the three of us (Martin left quarterway so he didn't count) we ate about 40++ plates. Talk about being a pig. The highest for the sushi eating challenge was 101 plates. Ultimate craziness!


Right now, on the com, I'm craving for Metal Gear 2: Substance, Hitman: Contracts and Medal Of Honour: Vanguard. Awesome games. Went to Vincent's for a game session and totally floored him on Death Match but he pwned the flag-capture mode. Sigh.


School is school, dry as the desert. -.-

Tomorrow is a looong day. I'm not even involved with the prom yet I am. What's with her panicking about where to put her civilian clothes after she changed over into her dress (here's where I got involved bringing home her stuff) lol. I really wanna watch Enchanted but the whole world apparently watched it already. SIGH.

ofblack&white
12:08 AM

I really think the only person so fun to message is Qis. Oh the funny arguments via SMS we had throwing insults and all. I decided to write this because I found it strangely funny.


Qis: I'm fine with anything! I'll dress ugly so you won't fall for me (somehow Qis got this weird idea that I might like her, which is so untrue)
Ili: You might wear the queen's crown and I'll be immune to you. Anw if you need to do any ranting msg me k (because before this part she was ranting like a mad woman) I can bear the brays of an ass (:
Qis: Likewise. I'm always open to the laments of an emo lesb (wtf I know). Oh how is that part of you doing btw?


or from another day...

Qis: I'M FINALLY GOING TOKYO ENVY ME NOW. Btw you want me to get you anything from there?
Ili: Yea, mochi cakes.
Qis: That's all???
Ili: Yea, I don't like to burden asses.

and the best of all...

Ili: Hey I bought you birks for your birthday.
Qis: Rly?! I thought you were just joking! omg pls dont say you love me now!
Ili: ... I have better taste and I don't go for Malays like you only Chinese who are prettier (lol to that, such a joke)
Qis: RASCIST BITCH


How odd. Anyway can't wait to meet her!

Oh by the way yesterday was the birthday of my pretty lil' cow (she started calling me farmer first) HAPPY BIRTHDAY YATS <33

ofblack&white
10:59 AM

Oh of sun sand and sea. It was quite a great weather to spend by the beach, and exactly what I did. Met near my house for breakfast, thosai then made our way there. There's that crazy Caucasian who kneeboard with a chair. Today he went surfing on his own chest. And he said it didn't hurt. Oh well. Got a bunch of VJ kids, Zakir Chew amongst them, how surprising. I managed to get up on the Easy Up till the first obstacle. I was ecstatic, but the next few I took nice plunges, one of which took away the blue band on my ankle ): I was quite sad about that.

Hmmm I got on the granite breakwaters and soaked up much of the sun. Him being the gentleman that he is bought nice nice cold sugarcane juice with lime. Favourite please! Effects of the sun: got myself quite red-brown especially on the face, job well done. Bad side of it: Mum asked what happened to my face and was wondering if I'm allergic to one of the face wash. Or wondered if I have fever, according to her my lips were as red as Marilyn Monroe's. Lol! I spent the good part of the day sleeping at my grandma's and reading Alice Walker's Third Life of Grange Copeland. Good book ((:

Omg as of this moment, you simply couldn't believe who I missed. Or actually what I missed.

Arguing with Mun.
Gosh it has been long since I'm on the losing side in a conversation, or subject to very very bitchy remarks from Ms I'm-bitchier-than-you. Haha!


There's extra Economics lecture tomorrow, and I think it's going to pour like anything. I'm so going to meet Huda next week ((: so I can borrow her gameboy in exchange for my PSP. She got the whole Pokemon collection please. That is love.
And so much more.

ofblack&white
9:46 PM

Cramps are, seriously SERIOUSLY majorly the PITS. HOW can it hurt so much is BEYOND me. Really, I think this had to be the worse of this year (I know last year it was on a Tuesday in school, positively dying please).


To top it off I was playing basketball in the morning and then it hit me. Was supposed to play in school but Su Fara ended only at 1130 and it'll be damn hot and so, we play behind me house.

SO THANKFUL FOR THAT.



I feel so immobilised right now cramps made walking to the kitchen a major chore.
PAIN.


Oh PSLE results both Tisya and Nur got 200. Together. Wow. Just pray they won't go to the same school, the teachers would just die. The havoc they create.
They each got 60$ from my grandparents (my grandma gives out money like water) and demand something from me. Tisay off to States tomorrow how nice.

Hate hate hate cramps. My aunt is making lasagna at this very moment and she asked me to stay over sadly I didn't have spare undergarments there (she offered to lend me some of hers, those ewww lacy g-strings GROSS). Ah. today it didn't rain. Means it'll most probably pour like nobody's business tomorrow. How awful, just when I planned to go to the beach and soak up the sand sun sea.

ofblack&white
9:48 PM

"You're then only angel I know that can never fly..."

"Are you ok?"

"Don't leave me. Please don't leave me next year..."


"What's so special about ___??"
"Everything..."


Haha I'm in an emotional low tonight especially with the rain and tiredness. I cleared my big red boxes again to fit the books in but I found this draft of a letter to you on some special occasion. I know I did give it to you.

I read it and all that words came alive.
That you still are, you know,
special.


):



Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHLOVE with the upcoming exams and trip to Europe for you, we'll only see each other 19 December onwards.
Boo to that too ):


Oh yea yesterday there's a blackout in my house and I was alone and it was so dark I never knew I could be that scared. It's a different kind of fear, couldn't quite place it and left me shaking and close to tears haha. It's like, I didn't have any odd appliance switched on and suddenly it was total darkness and no thanks to Connelly earlier yesterday I expect some strange strange murderer lurking in my bathroom with a chainsaw.

The point of this is that when I was so scared I didn't turn to the Man because the first person in my mind who could dispell that new found fear of the dark was a very close friend I am kind of... shaky with since April and haven't REALLY been talking. Gosh how odd friendship works no? A fairly shaky friendship repaired by a blackout. Haha I'm really glad about that because she is the one most comfortable person to me.
That's pluspoints.


But apart from that, sigh.

ofblack&white
10:15 PM

Hello it has been raining and raining but that doesn't stop us from playing soccer know? After hours on the court I got a lot of bruises, a sprained thumb, and problematic toenails. Broken, the lot of them looked quite broken and shit. But whatever haha. So fun sliding around the court in the rain bare-footed. Oh yes and very busted lungs. Result of being unfit. Sigh. Really had a good time playing four-on-four though. Hope can play again!


Anyway been doing practically nothing the past few days. I feel like a mannequin (only fatter of course) lazing around being useless to the society. Haha.


Never mind short post. Exactly last year I played soccer too, on my last paper ((:

Ok not raining, going to cycle over grandma's to get food. So lazy to move...

ofblack&white
3:55 PM

Lately I've been more participative in school (in other words, been attending every lecture and actually PAYING attention hoho) and what a shame to miss past lectures because it all seem so interesting (no shit especially Economics please) and I even turned up for the extra lectures on Saturday which is like 4 hours. Congrats!


I've gotten my loveofmylife on Thursday and lo behold that pretty thing actually gotten Fred Perry guy to start a conversation haha he IS good-looking and that compounded by the amount of dough he has. But not my type.
Anyway

Dream Theater coming Singapore on January 18th 2008 which is on a Thursday evening and I AM DEFINITELY GOING not even restrains could... well restrain me from it. Oh madness I can actually see them in flesh!


And today is examinations (on the religious side). Oral actually, so a lot of memorising scripts last minute and messing with the rest. How fun to see them after manymany weeks of not going. And ohh BLISS someone was there ;p Ok anyway was advertising small scale for tuition, I need SOME students not many, about 5 max next year. Hmm I already have Lynn Damsel Afifa and possibly possibly Yuen Mei. Not too much I'm afraid I couldn't cope with studies and get my priorities wrong again.
And OMG I asked Hanis if she wants tuition and I hope to God she wants (because she is YOUKNOWWHO'S sister) hahah how cheeky but yea income is greatly appreciated. Having my 50$ a week allowance from parents felt wrong, and it's a bit of a pittance to what I'm used to ;p Haha!
Must not be dependent on others.



Oh and UOL study guides (4.15kg of them) came on Friday and crowding my already crowded room it's quite scaring me, all these thick thick books with words you need Master's to comprehend. Ok they aren't that bad just... thick. You know? I hate thick textbooks/study guides/whatev.

The Shanghai Masters is on right now Federer vs. Ferrer in the finals. I watched the Federer vs. Nadal and boy now I know why Federer is number 1 please. He's damn damn good (and lucky maybe?) and doesn't seem to break a sweat. If only they'd come Singapore! Sharapova is for an exhibition match but not interested in her.


Ah life has it's ups and downs it has been a most interesting week.

ofblack&white
4:26 PM

It's ohmygod mock is in two weeks time I'm NOT prepared (only consolation is I'm tiny bit more prepared than Kat I think ;p) Economics is okay Math bearable stats maybe (all the weird things come now, chi-squared test, goodness of fit yada yaday) PBF not at all. Sigh must must catch up.

The A's are coming to an end, isn't it fast? Like it felt like yesterday that I was sitting for MY paper and now the juniors are sitting for their paper how odd eh? It was many people's birthday past few days, like elf's and Aisyah's and today sir Juffri apparently everybody likes to be born in November. Oh well.


Angry and annoyed isn't my favourite emotions ever and I shall keep that in mind. Must try to be happy. I'm happy because my loveofmylife shipped in yesterday and probably delivered by tomorrow afternoon at the grandma's doorsteps.


Talking about grandma both grandparents are down with a fever of sorts and diarrhea or something to do with the aching stomach. My dad too. I wonder what was passing. I'm so worried for my grandparents together alone at home during the day if I weren't schooling I'd look after them. My dad's down with the same thing, doctor said some blood infection or something.

Sigh the wet month always brought about the sickness and nonsense.

I saw Hitman being advert as a movie, coming out on 29th November. Something I want to catch because I love playing Hitman: Contracts. He looked just like the game in the poster. LOL.

Just like an angel from my nightmare.

ofblack&white
9:09 PM

I know all about the patience is virtue nonsense but TELL ME HOW I am suppose to be patient over this. However far I want to go, wherever I want to go without even SEEING or hearing your name seemed impossible and hoho this isn't anything about stupid crushes or lovelife or anything it's all about NOT WANTING TO SEE A PERSON BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT.
It annoys me how you hover around and I just want a day without breathing even your name but NOOO, life apparently glued you to me. Not that I want it. Sigh how it gets to my nerve I've no freaking idea it just happens, doesn't it?

If God created a humancide I'd use it on you. Really.
Argh. I know how Kat feels about C but I assure you this is so way beyond it.


On a brighter note, I watched Bee Movie today not a bad show quite an interesting one and I finished my Grey season 3. Perks about having the DVD is that they have outtakes that are way too hilarious for one's own good.

Sandra Oh: All I can think of is HickoryDickoryDock.
Ellen: ...
Sandra: The mouse went over the clock
Ellen: *Burst out laughing*
(She's suppose to be dead during that drowning episode).
Very funny people. Ellen have the nicest laugh around, And Eric Dane has such a hot hot bod. Like really.


Sheesh not getting any better. I wish I was a bee, so I can control my temper real well.


...

As if.

ofblack&white
10:40 PM

I spent most of my afternoon at the airport with Anas and Qis with yats joining us later. So amidst lunch (or rather late lunch) we had those old old conversations. I love conversations with them, all witty and annoying and for some part, quite meaningful. I think I pamper Qis too much what's with me lending her my PSP when she's off to her most favourite place in the world Tokyo. God bless these Japanese craze. They were talking about how A levels are shrinking their brains and Anas insisted on having faith that God will make everything right if you devote your time to Him. I bit back my retort, about how I have faith in Him and here I am depressed (I'm always depressed aren't I -.-) so wrongly in love and all the bull. I don't know, I do not meant to question my faith and such but sometimes it's so hard to believe that He who loves us make life a trying place; with Anas' dad passing away during her promos last year and all. Maybe I AM at the wrong to question His motives, because whoever said life was easy?

It wasn't, and of course nothing in the world is easy. Maybe I need more faith to put me back in line. I'm just stupid maybe.
SIGH.

Sometimes He makes life so beautiful, like today too. When I looked up at the sky and see clouds like marbles of white intricately carved out so beautiful spanning across the sky in hues of blue and red and yellow and purple and wow no one could ever ever combine the colours with such expertise save Him. Sometimes these sights made me forget about all the miserable things that happened to everyone that I know, every sorrow others or I have gone through.
Makes life worth living.


I think I'm in that melancholic mood again.
And as usual, a guy invariably asked Yats for her number. Lol. And saw Chong Chiat too! Things like today made me wish I'm back at TK with all of them, the good the bad the ugly. Somehow I feel those were the few carefree years I'm blessed with.

ofblack&white
7:13 PM

You know that place,
between sleep and wake?
The place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always love you...

ofblack&white
8:43 PM

Oh the joys (rolls eyes) of turning 19. So old, so old. I expect rheumatism and arthritis to set in let's say... SOON. I don't know what to type eh, very touched that so many people remembered my brithday (to the extend of calling and singing a song when I'm in the lift) or anonymous ones claiming to be my secret admirer (turned out to be my aunt -.-). I don't know, long-forgotten people like Eunice and Siok Wen. Thank you. Many heartfelt thanks to the presents, would-be-coming presents and all that. Even I found out that my birkenstocks are happily in the post office waiting to be collected. Nice day nice day. Nice dinner with the two crazy sisters, and I was sincerely touched by Mayyee's gift, since I DID remember mentioning it very fleetingly long long long time ago. But as I stressed, long long time ago. Haha. Oh and bestest thing was when I woke up the first two messages I saw on my phone were from Qistina and Matin <3


Ok feel very loved and er happy (maye I'm not that comfortable in expressing happiness). And what have you. Yesterday I had a nap in the afternoon. After months of not having that! (I don't know if I'm exaggerating it did felt like months) I feel so carefree! Oh I applied for a debit Mastercard and I think it's a bad bad mistake because now, NOTHING is stopping me from online purchases.
I think my bank account shrank of fear.


Maz finish her op which means I can meet her more oft and Vincent ends his O levels yesterday also MEANS I'm crashing over anytime soon for games games and games (oh and of course the nicest Indian tea...).

Kids coming over my place is ok, but it's not ok if they made my guitar out-of-tune because there's nothing more I abhorred doing than tuning the guitar because I'm just tone-deaf I think. Hmm met Fana today just your ordinary day hoho haaa.

Bookfair tomorrow with Nadz and probably meeting Loretta wow even if I'm cleared off tuition my days are happily happily packed. Ish's house is open for Deepavali and I hope she won't feed me wild boar.



What if I were to say, I thought it was over but then,
I fell head over heels again.

SIGH.


Another random thing! We are playing SOCCER on the 20th! I hope they are true to their word. I got Zhong to play as well (blackmailing of course) hopefully hopefully can play I SO miss soccer ):

ofblack&white
10:02 PM

My Friday was quite good. Meeting Pei En at Kovan for Economics, getting 5$ games on my PSP, saw Lynn and screamingly gave hugs, walk in the rain, late lunch with Maz and Izzat, photos all around. And crashing over Maz's place. I feel very bad because her mum insisted that I take duit raye. All I did was menyemak at her place and I get this. Next time won't go over when her parents are around. I remember her mum gave me 50$ once for raye. I don't know why so much. But anyway, I LOVE Mazni she's so so so cute I kept pinching her!


And I went on to buy Grey's Season Three, the original one and the living room dvd player can't play that. What the fuck right? Had to watch in the room. How annoying. Somehow he's not been treating me that normally I don't know what's going on but I'm not bothered because I'm not THAT crazy over him, know what I mean? Sigh. I don't know if I ever settle down. And anyway there's the Parkway crazy sale today I so want to go (Topshop having discounts like nobody's business)and probably get a new DVD player. Such a steal know?


Yesterday I saw Kaleidoscope and saw her photo, she looks so innocent in her basketball jersey and SPECTACLES lol and class photo too ((:

I've been feeling feverish but no fever in sight. Rah.

ofblack&white
12:51 PM

It suddenly felt empty when I stepped out of Adela's house. You know, not listening to their nonsense and all the shenanigans anymore. I know this sounds odd but I think I'm going to miss traveling like mad and stuff, like from Parkway all the way to Serangoon Gardens then to Mei Hwan then AMK and all the bull. God I am really going to enjoy all the free time I have now but at the same time I'm really going to miss all all all their bullshit (especially Mun's, cause she's so full of it).


Sigh. Anyway tomorrow is their paper and boy I am having jitters, as if I'm sitting for it. Like HOW if in the middle of their papers they forgot formulae or their battery run flat or they just collapse and can't do?? Like OMG how. I know I shouldn't be panicking too much but it's hard. The bundle of joy that I teach for almost a year is sitting for the A's, specifically MATH.


Anyway from the trio's case boys boys boys always wanted to act up at the most crucial period (thankfully nothing that sort happened to me). Gosh I think they have some problem against us females or something. I don't know.


Ok. I'm very tired after 9 to 10s for the past two weeks and I need a good rest.
God I feel empty haha.

ofblack&white
10:24 PM